Hi i loved this piece as i read it online . want to share it with you all
anju
Realize that most companies have set procedures in place to protect employee rights - armed with that back up, stand up straight and stand up for yourself! Tell that co-worker that you're sorry if they're having a bad day but that you just don't understand why they would make that hurtful remark. Say it loud, let someone nearby overhear you. Give that responsibility back to your co-worker - it's not your fault that they are behaving disrespectfully! Not only are you standing up for yourself and making it clear to this person that you do not tolerate shabby treatment, but you're showing leadership to your fellow "soul schoolmates" - if I can do it so can you!
Love and friendshipIf boundary setting is an assignment of yours, you will definitely find a willing partner in the love department! Oh, how many people are waiting to take advantage of someone who does not know their true worth? Allowing yourself to be a doormat "because you're in love" may feel like you're really showing that special someone how much they mean to you… but what you're really showing them is that you don't know the first thing about love, which is loving you!Relationships are excellent soul barometers. If you're not feeling reciprocal "give and take" with your partner, then you need to stop, drop and roll. Stop to ask yourself why this person would not want to give back to you. Drop the act and say what you feel. You don't have to be harsh or critical, but you do need to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Roll with the punches - if you can hash out a resolution with your mate, realize there will be ups and downs in this learning process. If no compromise can be made and you're still feeling taken for a ride - roll on outta there, you can use the time and effort that you were lavishing on someone else to pamper yourself. You will be teaching yourself what it feels like to be appreciated, cared for and happy and you'll know exactly what you're looking for next time.
FamilyDespite how loved we may be by our parents and siblings, there are emotional responses that we have been conditioned to give since birth. Unfortunately, we learned boundaries from people without omnipresence and with imperfections. Boundary issues are here if you're on a mission of self-discovery. These can be some of the toughest boundaries to solidify because we began forming them when we were too young to understand that we are separate from our parents. If your mom or dad struggled with a boundary, we very well may be, too. It's not easy to realize that our parents aren't perfect… but as we are all mirrors to each other, naming what you see as an issue for them allows you to realize it for yourself as well. Learning from their experiences and choices and knowing they were their choics (not yours!), means that going forward you can choose to, or not, carry on family traditions without blinders.
Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease - and then stops squeaking! Going against your own inner guidance when something doesn't feel right to you is rarely the best choice for the boundary challenged. Asking for what you need and want is something that can be a welcome part of your self-respect repertoire. Regardless of the situation whether it's business or pleasure, you are well within your rights to require reciprocal relationships where people uphold their end of the deal. So, before you say "Sure, I'd be happy to…" make sure your inner voice isn't saying no! You're the only one who can hear that voice and it's counting on you to honor it! People who do not respect where you're at, or they project their own issues on you, can be released. Simply send them your blessing and let them deal with their own issues - with someone else! It's your life, so create it exactly as you see it unfolding. And standing up for what you beleive is the first step to a beautiful life.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
chutki bhar Singhur
For once i understood how pained Ratan Tata must have been over his Nano venture in Singur West bengal .For there is a lil bit of Singur in everyones life here .
I had my share of utter hopelessness when i searched for a photostat shop one afternoon in the famous Lake market area of kolkata. It was urgent and i had to have that done. I wandered from one to the other to many others , in all nine to ten , a formidable number in an area of one kilometer ,but all in vain. Seven machines were not working , for others it was post lunch time and hence rest time , some simply didnt want to, for they were taking a lie back and didnt look interested. It is not to say that I was the only customer, but there were many more, who looked resigned to fate and some guilty for having come at a wrong time.
There is business, there is work, people are waiting , documents in hand for their photostat jobs, but no sparks of interest ever got ignited ..Wake up and make the best of it, man ! I was in an instant drawn close to Ratan Tata .Poor chap, he must have felt so similar , helpless and angry .In an instant, I empathised with him for his misadventure in this land of lotus eaters .Within a flash i also imagined what is modus operandi would have been in such a situation .For a man ,so much used to corporate glitches and company warfares, he should be resorting to effecient man managment as a ready reckoner,a time tested mantra , and he would think of approaching conflicts from the perspective of cooperative negotiation, rather than adversarial conflict.
Could I do that ?It was very difficult , especially when the man was yawning in my face suggesting that i was out of my mind trying to get work dome after lunch, when it is time for all to rest. I shouted back, for that is one strategy , so spontaneous and satisfying.And when this happens one gets hung up on irrelevant details. Surprised i was ,for i heard myself tell the man in charge that he should take pride in his work , get his machines working, stop being lazy , work during day time and thus increase his chances for success.It was not confidence in myself not even in what i was saying but sheer bravado,.
Your best advice comes from within, and that which makes the most sense, and this is what happened The inner voice directed me to move on to other places for the time for endless analysis of work ethics in this state was getting lost.The shop in front was partially shut now and the man had curled up for his afternoon siesta
This is what the handsome , ever composed, sombre looking Ratan Tata must have felt, dejected yet surprised! For him Nano business deal must have been like consummating a romantic relationship ; eandearing in its uncertanities, full of sweet nothings and many slips between the lip and the lip .Dear Ratan dont scatter your energy and look for beter pastures. I have no Singur and no Nano to handle, yet I feel defeated, lost and devoid of hope. I could not get the photostat done, the documents returned home with me , on a normal ,non-bandh day , at three in the afternoon, a time when elswhere is a peak time for business.
Here my timing was wrong . It was post lunch in Bengal on a hot sultry afternoon.
Think and muse!! i shall leave you here !
I had my share of utter hopelessness when i searched for a photostat shop one afternoon in the famous Lake market area of kolkata. It was urgent and i had to have that done. I wandered from one to the other to many others , in all nine to ten , a formidable number in an area of one kilometer ,but all in vain. Seven machines were not working , for others it was post lunch time and hence rest time , some simply didnt want to, for they were taking a lie back and didnt look interested. It is not to say that I was the only customer, but there were many more, who looked resigned to fate and some guilty for having come at a wrong time.
There is business, there is work, people are waiting , documents in hand for their photostat jobs, but no sparks of interest ever got ignited ..Wake up and make the best of it, man ! I was in an instant drawn close to Ratan Tata .Poor chap, he must have felt so similar , helpless and angry .In an instant, I empathised with him for his misadventure in this land of lotus eaters .Within a flash i also imagined what is modus operandi would have been in such a situation .For a man ,so much used to corporate glitches and company warfares, he should be resorting to effecient man managment as a ready reckoner,a time tested mantra , and he would think of approaching conflicts from the perspective of cooperative negotiation, rather than adversarial conflict.
Could I do that ?It was very difficult , especially when the man was yawning in my face suggesting that i was out of my mind trying to get work dome after lunch, when it is time for all to rest. I shouted back, for that is one strategy , so spontaneous and satisfying.And when this happens one gets hung up on irrelevant details. Surprised i was ,for i heard myself tell the man in charge that he should take pride in his work , get his machines working, stop being lazy , work during day time and thus increase his chances for success.It was not confidence in myself not even in what i was saying but sheer bravado,.
Your best advice comes from within, and that which makes the most sense, and this is what happened The inner voice directed me to move on to other places for the time for endless analysis of work ethics in this state was getting lost.The shop in front was partially shut now and the man had curled up for his afternoon siesta
This is what the handsome , ever composed, sombre looking Ratan Tata must have felt, dejected yet surprised! For him Nano business deal must have been like consummating a romantic relationship ; eandearing in its uncertanities, full of sweet nothings and many slips between the lip and the lip .Dear Ratan dont scatter your energy and look for beter pastures. I have no Singur and no Nano to handle, yet I feel defeated, lost and devoid of hope. I could not get the photostat done, the documents returned home with me , on a normal ,non-bandh day , at three in the afternoon, a time when elswhere is a peak time for business.
Here my timing was wrong . It was post lunch in Bengal on a hot sultry afternoon.
Think and muse!! i shall leave you here !
Monday, September 8, 2008
lets get talking
Hi,
The morning papers took out a news item on what it meant when Mamata Banerjee in the middle of the Singur crisis decided to paint and weild a brush . The newspaper carried out interpretations by Psychaitrists and Psycologists who said that this kind of an impulse suggested an immaturity of sorts , a childlike urge to shout and throw a tantrum when in dire straits is basically a deficit of adult emotions , it stated . I would have thought that she is resorting to a leisurely exercise thereby benefitting from the same , getting energised , destressed and rejuvenated . The experts shattered this feel -good interpretation and attributed it to her being dim witted as in an overgrown child.
It set me thinking and I realised that would it really matter if we cocretised and technicalised our very fine, abstract and beautiful emotions . If we start this process of psycoanalysing and then verbalising these beautiful ,non-lingual acts of leisure and passion ,then we lay ourselves bare and naked ;for so much of what we do will be a tell tale of our psyche, our inner world which we guard so fiercely and to top it all it may not be a correct analysis.
Human mind and its entire thought process is so complicated and dynamic that it cannot limit itself to any one psycoanalytic interpretation. I am not trying to speak on behalf of Mamata Banerjee for i truly dont understand her stance and am adverse to any kind of political leanings. It just set me thinking that it may also be true.
Did you ever think on these lines ?
Blog or blurb, talk or shout, whisper or murmur, look or glance, hold hands or mere touch , these are all means to communicate and to pass on some of your apprehensions ,fears anxieties and also insecurities just to make one feel better . These are important tools for survival, but reek of a selfish streak! Isnt it so?
Havent you felt revolted to advice , tips and those unwanted unsolicited manuals on how to do things , like beat stress, manage time , love better, earn friends and make money .How can people know more than you? After all you are the best one to know your affairs and it is not true that what holds good for one will be equally right for the other person .This is an invisible imposter in our lives who through the medium of print controls us . A dictatorial and authoritarian force that enable one to rule and dominate !
cheers ! Much more to learn !
The morning papers took out a news item on what it meant when Mamata Banerjee in the middle of the Singur crisis decided to paint and weild a brush . The newspaper carried out interpretations by Psychaitrists and Psycologists who said that this kind of an impulse suggested an immaturity of sorts , a childlike urge to shout and throw a tantrum when in dire straits is basically a deficit of adult emotions , it stated . I would have thought that she is resorting to a leisurely exercise thereby benefitting from the same , getting energised , destressed and rejuvenated . The experts shattered this feel -good interpretation and attributed it to her being dim witted as in an overgrown child.
It set me thinking and I realised that would it really matter if we cocretised and technicalised our very fine, abstract and beautiful emotions . If we start this process of psycoanalysing and then verbalising these beautiful ,non-lingual acts of leisure and passion ,then we lay ourselves bare and naked ;for so much of what we do will be a tell tale of our psyche, our inner world which we guard so fiercely and to top it all it may not be a correct analysis.
Human mind and its entire thought process is so complicated and dynamic that it cannot limit itself to any one psycoanalytic interpretation. I am not trying to speak on behalf of Mamata Banerjee for i truly dont understand her stance and am adverse to any kind of political leanings. It just set me thinking that it may also be true.
Did you ever think on these lines ?
Blog or blurb, talk or shout, whisper or murmur, look or glance, hold hands or mere touch , these are all means to communicate and to pass on some of your apprehensions ,fears anxieties and also insecurities just to make one feel better . These are important tools for survival, but reek of a selfish streak! Isnt it so?
Havent you felt revolted to advice , tips and those unwanted unsolicited manuals on how to do things , like beat stress, manage time , love better, earn friends and make money .How can people know more than you? After all you are the best one to know your affairs and it is not true that what holds good for one will be equally right for the other person .This is an invisible imposter in our lives who through the medium of print controls us . A dictatorial and authoritarian force that enable one to rule and dominate !
cheers ! Much more to learn !
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)